I got some good news at work - I'm doing just fine.
Here's why this is such a big deal:
I've been working in this position since the middle of July (so about 4 months now). It was all new to me - I had never dealt with accounting in any way, and especially not in relation to retail. It was a lot to adjust to. I was pretty slow as I got used to it, because I wanted to make sure I was doing it right.
As time has gone on, I've gotten faster, but Kathy (who trained me) has kept telling me that I need to get faster because I'm making others' jobs harder by being so slow. No matter how much I have improved my speed, she keeps telling me that I'm still too slow. It's hard to deal with, because she has never said, "Good, I'm glad you're getting faster" just "You're still too slow; you're leaving too much work for Mary & Michelle to finish up."
Friday morning I spoke with Mary and told her that I know I'm faster, but I feel like I'm not good enough still and I know where I am still having problems. That night, Michelle told me that not only am I just fine as far as speed goes, but that Kathy is not as great as she thinks she is. She also thinks that Kathy tries to ensure her own job security by not training people well (I'm the third person in this position since Kathy started in it). I have noticed that - Kathy has trained a couple of other people who are backups for when neither of us can work, and she trained BOTH of them better than she trained me. I picked up a few things that I need to be doing just by listening in while she was training them. And, she showed me about the slowest way possible to do a couple of things (I have since picked up faster methods on my own). I've also noticed recently (including an instance just last night) that she seems to find new things that I "ought" to be doing each night as soon as I start getting finished with my work at a decent time. I just start getting into a pattern where I'm getting what I need to get done, and she says, "You know, you should be doing this every night, too." It's as if she wants me to look bad, so she can always look better.
Last night I was so offended, I almost told her off (but I bit my tongue just in time) because I was trying to figure something out and she said, "It might just be too complicated for you." Um, excuse me?? This coming from the woman who spells the word "comments" as "commits"?? No. It's not too complicated for me. I had made a mistake on the adding machine and was trying to fix it and said to myself, "No, that didn't work, either," - thus eliciting that comment from her. I know that I am more intelligent than she is (not bragging, just a fact) and her saying that to me was very insulting. I did keep my nasty comeback to myself, and now that I have had time to think about it, I have a better response. Next time she implies that I can't handle something, I will simply say that I am perfectly capable of doing my job. That's it.