Today was a pretty good day. Much better than yesterday. Although yesterday did have its moments as well.
Like that feeling of freedom you get when you pay off a debt. It was a wonderful feeling to hand over that check and have that debt taken care of, even though I had to go into debt to someone else to pay it off, and even though I was being called a shitty friend at the time.
Which did kinda hurt. I know that I am not a shitty friend. I am a slow-communicating friend at times, yes. And a poor friend, with little money for visiting. Desire does nothing to put gas in the tank or food on the table. So if someone offers to give me money for gas if I'll come see them, sure, I'll go. Am I likely to go on my own? Probably not. Like I said, I'm poor. I work part-time (although that will hopefully soon change), and my hours at work are not steady to say the least. But I remember birthdays and anniversaries, and when invited I make an attempt to go. A shitty friend I am not, and I know it. But it still stings to be called one.
Today was a great day though. I slept a little later than I had planned to, but I got up and got dressed and didn't do much. I played with my birthday present from my loving hubby (Sims 2 University) while cleaning in the kitchen some. I worked on an afghan that I am hoping to finish by the end of April. Then I went to work. Work was actually fun tonight, since I covered a different department and the change of scenery made the night go that much faster. After work I came home and talked to my sister on the phone and a good friend online. I will probably play some more of my game before going to bed so I can do it all again tomorrow.
It's not an exciting existance, but it's my life. And most of the time, it's not too bad of a life.
This blog is about the ups and downs in the life of an infertile couple as they strive to create their family. Nieces and nephews abound and are dearly loved, but sons and daughters are much harder to come by and strongly desired.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Monday, March 21, 2005
The Good, the Bad, and the Nasty
I actually had a good weekend. Only a little of it was bad. But I'll start with the bad, include the nasty with that even though I only found out about it today, and go to the good at the end.
The bad is my former friend. Former BEST friend to be exact. The same one who sent me the email about the fact that she feels as if I am spending her money because I owe her money.
I was supposed to make a two hour drive (one way) to have dinner for her birthday. This was something I had agreed to, despite the fact that I did not really want to go because my husband was not invited. I feel (and several people have already agreed with me) that if my husband is not invited, then I am truly not invited either. Plus, I would have had to drive back home, by myself and in the dark, Saturday night because I had to work on Sunday morning. So looking forward to this dinner party I was not. Fate and God were on my side, since it started snowing very late Friday night and by Saturday morning was a true blizzard. There was no way I could go. The weather was just too bad and was only supposed to get worse. I called to wish her a happy birthday and to apologize for not being able to make it, and she proceeded to yell and cry at me that I was ruining her birthday by staying home.
It was not just me. My sister and her family were visiting at our house for the weekend, and they were also planning to attend this dinner. Some last minute information had made it so that my sister truly did not wish to go as well (she found out only after she was at my house that an aging cocker spaniel would be running around loose in the house - not too bad unless you remember that my sister has a 17-month-old who has never been around dogs and this dog has not spent much time with toddlers). Since she was at my house, and the weather concerns were hers as well, they also decided not to go. They also decided that it was not safe for them to go home on Saturday, which was their original plan since they live close to the city where the dinner party was to be held.
My former friend, even after being told that the roads here were impassable and that we could not go, faulted ALL of us for not going. Even my sister and BIL, who have a small child to think about! It was apparently something that we were all doing against her personally. Her attitude in all of this has lost her not one, not two, but three friends and a potential friend in my neice (who isn't old enough to decide yet). She also apparently agrees that we should no longer be friends since all of us have been removed from her friends list on Live Journal.
The nasty is that she hates my husband. Apparently she always has. I found this out today. She posted in a forum that she has always hated him since before we were married and would like to run him over with a truck. As you can imagine, I am very hurt by this as she has never said to me in any way that she dislikes him at all, let alone that she hates him this much.
After all that sadness though, it truly was a good weekend. I had a Petra party at my house, and several people came. I also got enough orders to get $120 in credit for free things! Free is always good. My sister was able to be here for it, which made me very happy. She came up on Thursday and stayed all weekend. Friday we went and got my neice's photograph taken at Wal-Mart. Right now they have a special going on that includes tie-on angel wings, which is what we really wanted. So we got those and picked out a couple of the other poses as well. I'm really looking forward to getting those back.
Saturday was the day of the bad weather. We did end up going to the grocery store to pick up a few things, since we hadn't planned on eating dinner at home that day and needed food. When we went to the store, we were so glad we weren't going any further, because the roads were truly quite horrible. After coming back home, we had sandwiches for lunch and pretty much just hung out for the rest of the day. I made hotdogs and mac & cheese for dinner, with tater tots and peas on the side. After dinner I cleaned the kitchen while everyone else watched Star Wars (we have the DVDs). When that was over we played a DVD game (the one where you shout at the television screen), and after that game we played several hands of UNO. By this point we were all getting tired, and I had to work on Sunday morning, so we went to bed.
Sunday morning I got up and went to work, and my sister & BIL and neice came to see me on my lunch break. They were on their way out of town, so it was nice to be able to see them again before they left. After work on Sunday I had rehearsal for the show I got a part in, and after that Jon & I went to Bennigan's to eat.
Overall, despite the nasties, it was a good weekend.
The bad is my former friend. Former BEST friend to be exact. The same one who sent me the email about the fact that she feels as if I am spending her money because I owe her money.
I was supposed to make a two hour drive (one way) to have dinner for her birthday. This was something I had agreed to, despite the fact that I did not really want to go because my husband was not invited. I feel (and several people have already agreed with me) that if my husband is not invited, then I am truly not invited either. Plus, I would have had to drive back home, by myself and in the dark, Saturday night because I had to work on Sunday morning. So looking forward to this dinner party I was not. Fate and God were on my side, since it started snowing very late Friday night and by Saturday morning was a true blizzard. There was no way I could go. The weather was just too bad and was only supposed to get worse. I called to wish her a happy birthday and to apologize for not being able to make it, and she proceeded to yell and cry at me that I was ruining her birthday by staying home.
It was not just me. My sister and her family were visiting at our house for the weekend, and they were also planning to attend this dinner. Some last minute information had made it so that my sister truly did not wish to go as well (she found out only after she was at my house that an aging cocker spaniel would be running around loose in the house - not too bad unless you remember that my sister has a 17-month-old who has never been around dogs and this dog has not spent much time with toddlers). Since she was at my house, and the weather concerns were hers as well, they also decided not to go. They also decided that it was not safe for them to go home on Saturday, which was their original plan since they live close to the city where the dinner party was to be held.
My former friend, even after being told that the roads here were impassable and that we could not go, faulted ALL of us for not going. Even my sister and BIL, who have a small child to think about! It was apparently something that we were all doing against her personally. Her attitude in all of this has lost her not one, not two, but three friends and a potential friend in my neice (who isn't old enough to decide yet). She also apparently agrees that we should no longer be friends since all of us have been removed from her friends list on Live Journal.
The nasty is that she hates my husband. Apparently she always has. I found this out today. She posted in a forum that she has always hated him since before we were married and would like to run him over with a truck. As you can imagine, I am very hurt by this as she has never said to me in any way that she dislikes him at all, let alone that she hates him this much.
After all that sadness though, it truly was a good weekend. I had a Petra party at my house, and several people came. I also got enough orders to get $120 in credit for free things! Free is always good. My sister was able to be here for it, which made me very happy. She came up on Thursday and stayed all weekend. Friday we went and got my neice's photograph taken at Wal-Mart. Right now they have a special going on that includes tie-on angel wings, which is what we really wanted. So we got those and picked out a couple of the other poses as well. I'm really looking forward to getting those back.
Saturday was the day of the bad weather. We did end up going to the grocery store to pick up a few things, since we hadn't planned on eating dinner at home that day and needed food. When we went to the store, we were so glad we weren't going any further, because the roads were truly quite horrible. After coming back home, we had sandwiches for lunch and pretty much just hung out for the rest of the day. I made hotdogs and mac & cheese for dinner, with tater tots and peas on the side. After dinner I cleaned the kitchen while everyone else watched Star Wars (we have the DVDs). When that was over we played a DVD game (the one where you shout at the television screen), and after that game we played several hands of UNO. By this point we were all getting tired, and I had to work on Sunday morning, so we went to bed.
Sunday morning I got up and went to work, and my sister & BIL and neice came to see me on my lunch break. They were on their way out of town, so it was nice to be able to see them again before they left. After work on Sunday I had rehearsal for the show I got a part in, and after that Jon & I went to Bennigan's to eat.
Overall, despite the nasties, it was a good weekend.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
I am so pissed off!
And here's why. I got this email today from someone who is supposedly my best friend. She mentions some things in the email that might not make sense to everyone who might read this, but some of it doesn't make sense to me!!
First of all, yes, I do owe her money. And yes, I have owed it to her for a while. But I have sent her money, within the last month no less! And the trip to Detroit was to celebrate a close friend's birthday - someone that I consider to be a BIL to me, since I consider his wife to be my sister and his daughter to be my neice. My husband & I spent very little money this weekend. We ate out once, and got gas once. Because another friend that I saw over the weekend gave me $6 that she owed me, I actually came home with the same amount of money I had when I left! That's how little we spent over the weekend.
And the Valentine's celebration that she's referring to wasn't a Valentine's thing at all. It happened to be at that time, but it was for DH's brother's SIX YEAR anniversary. They came to us so we could save on gas, and we went to a nice restaurant, and bowling, and to a movie because that is what they wanted to do for their anniversary, and they wanted us along. I truly have no idea what she's talking about when she says I bought Jon an expensive gift. I got him two gifts, the total of which was around $30. In my mind, even one gift at $30 would not be expensive, so I have no clue what she might be referring to. Can someone please define expensive for me??
And I love how she doesn't care that we would have to do without even more than we have already sacrificed by being poor. Also, I'm apparently not allowed to do or buy anything fun, no matter how small it may be. My life should be spent sitting at home doing nothing and speaking to no one except my husband, because obviously I don't deserve the luxury of a phone or internet access, let alone prescriptions or electricity or heat!
I am trying very hard not to get mad, but when someone goes on and on about how much money she herself (or her boyfriend) spends on herself, then tells me I'm not allowed to spend money on myself or my husband, and my husband is not allowed to spend money on me or himself, it just pisses me off. The hipocracy drives me crazy.
I'm so angry with you that I'm shaking. I cannot believe that you went to Detroit this weekend, spending money that you owe me!! Todd and I couldn't go because you owe me so much money, but you don't seem to want to pay it back that badly. And you always seem to be able to do and buy fun things. Like Valentine's day, where you told me how you went bowling and out to eat and to a movie, and got Jon an expensive gift.
Right now, I don't feel that we are friends. Friends don't do that to each other. I am going to be calling you tonight, if I don't get an email from you before. As of right now, I won't be going to your party, and I want my money back, in full, as soon as possible. I don't care at this point that you'll have to cancel cable, cell phones or anything like that. I'm so sick of you spending my money on yourself!
First of all, yes, I do owe her money. And yes, I have owed it to her for a while. But I have sent her money, within the last month no less! And the trip to Detroit was to celebrate a close friend's birthday - someone that I consider to be a BIL to me, since I consider his wife to be my sister and his daughter to be my neice. My husband & I spent very little money this weekend. We ate out once, and got gas once. Because another friend that I saw over the weekend gave me $6 that she owed me, I actually came home with the same amount of money I had when I left! That's how little we spent over the weekend.
And the Valentine's celebration that she's referring to wasn't a Valentine's thing at all. It happened to be at that time, but it was for DH's brother's SIX YEAR anniversary. They came to us so we could save on gas, and we went to a nice restaurant, and bowling, and to a movie because that is what they wanted to do for their anniversary, and they wanted us along. I truly have no idea what she's talking about when she says I bought Jon an expensive gift. I got him two gifts, the total of which was around $30. In my mind, even one gift at $30 would not be expensive, so I have no clue what she might be referring to. Can someone please define expensive for me??
And I love how she doesn't care that we would have to do without even more than we have already sacrificed by being poor. Also, I'm apparently not allowed to do or buy anything fun, no matter how small it may be. My life should be spent sitting at home doing nothing and speaking to no one except my husband, because obviously I don't deserve the luxury of a phone or internet access, let alone prescriptions or electricity or heat!
I am trying very hard not to get mad, but when someone goes on and on about how much money she herself (or her boyfriend) spends on herself, then tells me I'm not allowed to spend money on myself or my husband, and my husband is not allowed to spend money on me or himself, it just pisses me off. The hipocracy drives me crazy.
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