Been a while....

So I know it's been a while since I posted here. Things get busy and I often just forget that I even have a blog that someone might want to read.
February was a rough month for me. It probably will be my worst month for a long time, too. On about Feb 16th, Dakota (had she been born) would have been 2 years old. And I am constantly seeing children who are about that same age - it's as if there was a baby boom then and I missed it, which is very depressing. Add that to the fact that my grandfather died during Feb my senior year of high school, and it makes for a real downer of a month, even though my birthday is in Feb and even when wonderful things happen during the month (such as a friend having a baby, which happened this year).

But now it's March, and March has got to be better, right? March has its own down moments, but I think that things are going better so it's going to be fine.
Except for one strange thing - I had a dream last night that I got a BFP on two digital tests.... and woke up to find that AF had arrived. Even though I was expecting AF today (I've been having bad cramps the past two days, which really sucked) it was still something of a blow to have that great dream and wake up to AF. But it's okay. I'm going to the doctor this month and will discuss my options with him then.